Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

thumb_up thumb_down

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

thumb_up thumb_down

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

thumb_up thumb_down

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops