“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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