Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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