What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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