what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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