What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops