How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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