How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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HELLO EVERYONE

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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