Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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