What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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