Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Hello penis

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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