they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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