A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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