Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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