A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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