Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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