Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops