Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

Cripples are lame.

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

a person who will soon die of beeties

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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