A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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