Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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salad days!

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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