A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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