Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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