Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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