Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +6

123 f*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops