A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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ugvvvvvv

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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