A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops