What's white and horny? A unicorn

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

star wars kid

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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