Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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