Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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What is a holocaust survivors favorite food nothing

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Cripples are lame.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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9/11

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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