Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops