roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops