What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops