What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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