Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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