Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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