Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops