What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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