How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops