A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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