What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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96

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops