What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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