Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

A whole 'nother.

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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