What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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