There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Womens rights

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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