What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops