Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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