A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

So a man walks into a bar, right?

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...