A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Japan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops