Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Kevin and Ramin

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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