- Anti Joke

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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