"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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