how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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