Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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http://www.google.com/webhp?doodle=6201726X-hA7spmZ-pmZnpnn__-ynJTMzfAAADUAAAcaZmb9sN8GZmGIzMz9UzM3OmZm2n7__6430pmZuSZmZm___y1yGQYhiElhkGQZBkGYZBiGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGITCGQZBkE4hkGQZRkGIUSGIYhkEEhkGUXiGIXkGIXkGIXkGQXiGQXkGQXiGIZhiGIRiGEZhmE5hhGUViGQYRklohkFohkFpBiFpBkFpBkGQYhmEEhmGQYhJIYhlFkhkGQZFg&hl=en&nord=1 For alien signals

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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