how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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