why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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SEX

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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