Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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