Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

hello

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

What's big and messy? A big mess

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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