What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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PS: YOU FUCKING PATHETIC ASSHOLES! DIE IN PAIN GUILT AND SHAME! YOU AND ALL OF THOSE THAT MOCKED ME FOR WANTING TO CREATE WHAT HAS FINALLY BEEN CREATED! (Special thanks to those that gave me a thousand thumbs down and such, I mean at first it was kinda degrading but fun since I posted bullshit on purpose, back when I returned from time to time to see if I had any thumbs ups, then I began enjoying red thumbs as I began expressing my dreams and gathering one follower for every human being that would mock me... ...Today? Today I type whatever the fuck I want, and could not care less for what you fucking humans think about me) Moral: I am superior to you all, and if you disagree with my opinion, you can at least respect it, I on the other hand, have no reason to respect your opinion... YOUR INFERIOR OPINION! If I am a human, then you are worth less than insects... But after being called Satan by my own mother, and called the anti-christ by so many people... ...Yeah, I guess you got to me, I am a fucking Demon, and the opposite of what your Gods offer, is our paradise. There I am gone (I have not returned as I never left) You wont ever hear about the most useless invention again...) Pss: Thanks, I mean it, thanks for nothing... What? You really thought I was grateful? You are nothing but humans, I have nothing for you... I have made more than enough people aware in this world, enough to create a world of my own, which is officially in existence. Ungrateful? Maybe I will one day hunt you humans, beat the shit out of you, torture you mentally, and then have you thank me for enduring all the shit you went trough, ill do it for the prize of your left arm, that is what it cost me, and just like me, you will be tortured by your mother and and father, with the option to take your life ALL of the time. Ironically the blood-loss when my mother cut of my arm was nothing, I mean it was the wounds she caused me by beating me up with it that nearly killed me... And compared to what she and my father did to me, losing that arm was trivial, something I look back at and laugh... Today nothing can break me, nobody can hurt me, and I got nothing to thank but ME! Followers of Neronism: As arrogant as it might sound, sure we made this world of ours together, but if hell if I suffered more than you just to stay alive, and make it happen. I am actually 32 and got about six years left to live because doctors misdiagnosed my diabetes and nearly destroyed the old ticker... ...But yeah, my dream is complete, and if there is a hell, eternal agony by flames is mere humor compared to being tortured until near death only to be left alone until I recover so your own parents can continue... Rinse and repeat, it is harder to live as a one handed guy with in chronic pain everywhere (parents you know...) than one might think, id never take my life, but if the reaper finds me in six years, I wont fight it. With that said Neronists, I will lead you on for what time I got, and have decided to appoint "Eliza" as my successor, and if Neronism one day turns into a bloodthirsty cult, rather than the anti-religious order it is today... ...Then fuck it all, then there was but only one being capable of this... And then I am, was, and will forever be... You know... Someone that had every reason to consider humans disgusting. I also used this section to share my fucked up childhood... In four years I will not only reveal the location of my empire, but also welcome anyone to see what they think of it and perhaps join in... But for now I am done, life is too short for this shit. Nero is done with horsehead network... For now, I do as I please, unless you are one of mine you do not matter, and if you are one of mine, the hell do you mind about me returning from time to time? I am not here to wake up the few followers I found here anymore, my empire is off limits... ...People have asked me why they have not found it, if its on the moon or something... ...I tell them to go fuck themselves, my dream is alive, and I am soon dead, who the hell gives a damn.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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sadf

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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